Heroes of the Void
(It was a warm day in Irvine. The sun was shining bright, it was nearing night and still hotter did it get. All of the CARV members were sitting around, plastered to the furniture.)
Kazz: Fur... killing... me.
(Kazz died of overheating that day, then he came back five minutes later.)
Kazz: Whew, much better. Dorg, don't you have some spell for this?
Dorg: Uh, are you feeling all right?
Kazz: No, it's this damn heat! Now do something about bitch!
Dorg: Uh... ask Namrok!
Kazz: I can't find him anywhere! Now squeal like a piggy!
(While Kazz holds Fluffy to Dorg's neck, Seraph stands up.)
Seraph: Where is Nammy anyway?
Kazz: Well, he didn't try to kill you for calling him Nammy... maybe he died again.
Dorg: Oh no! I'm not going back to hell in this heat!
Kazz: Yeah, who cares.
(Kazz puts Fluffy down and attaches a fan to her. Turning the chainsaw on, Kazz is cooled by the air current.)
Kazz: Tough! You're keeping this fan whether you like it or not!
(Just then, Fluffy got up, ripped the fan off of her blade and walked out the door.)
Kazz: No! Fluffy, come back!
(Kazz sees Bay Watch starting on TV.)
Kazz: Come back- oh...
(Kazz sits down two inches from the TV and gets mesmerized by the moving silicone.)
(Scene sets in the Newbie Basement. Everyone's sitting around munching on Skittles.)
Akardam: Hey, I noticed we have an abundance of Skittles lately.
Z: Yeah, we got a special deal to get a truck load a day for Crystal. Where is the little tike anyhow?
Akardam: I dun know...
(Suddenly, a person comes running down the stairs, hitting his way on the roof.)
Morpher: Have any of you seen Crystal? She's usually up pretty early to wake me up.
Z: No, we don't know where she went.
(At the same time, Bay Watch comes on. Morpher sits down beside Akardam and watches the show.)
(Scene sets in CWAL HQ. Everyone is sitting around, drinking Iced coffee for some reason, and playing StarCraft.)
Mu: Hahaha! DC's base is going down!
Fron: What the- where'd he go?
Mu: Who cares! I'm going to win!
(Just then, Mu sees 12 Battle Cruisers and Wraiths outside his town. Going to attack them with his fleet, he fails to notice that they were all just hallucinations. Then he sees Norf's fleet of 24 Carriers, Battle Cruisers and somehow, Spore Colonies.)
Mu: *Grumbles* If we were playing Brood War I'd have won this contest of ingenuity.
Fron: Hahaha! You lost-
(Fron looks back to his screen just in time to see 100 mutalisks tearing the remains of his buildings.)
(Fron looks back at his screen and notices that Norf missed one Pylon and one Probe. He looks to his minerals to see a few thousand in store.)
Fron: Time to play hide the Pylon! Heeheehee!
(Scene sets in the Zerg Canadian Caverns.)
Ravil: Hey, where's Palin?
Cydric: I don't know.
Ravil: Ok... who's up for some Ping-Pong?
(The Cannuckalisks get a Ping-Pong tournament going. Aura ends up winning since she's the only one with hands.)
(Scene sets in a dark area. Not so much dark, you could see everything in the area. The reason it felt dark was because there was nothing to see. But that was changing. Figures began to materialize out of thin air, if air it was. A platform of sorts, ever present in the void, hovered below the bodies.)
Dark Chrono: Where... where am I?
Namrok: Where are we, you mean.
Dark Chrono: Well... what's that?
(Dark Chrono points towards a form. The person is Crystal, but she is changing. Shedding a bright light, the little girl disappeared... and in her place stood Poeir.)
Poeir: I'm... I'm me!
Dark Chrono: Yes, I seem to be normal once more as well.
Namrok: And I'm no longer a lich.
Palin: Yes, we are all in our original forms.
(The others all look towards the dwarven speaker in front of them.)
Dark Chrono: You! You were the one...
Palin: Yes, I have gathered us together.
Namrok: But.... But why?
Palin: You are those who have been resurrected. You are those who have the last of the great springs. You are this universe's only hope.
(Scene sets upon another area of the void. Being identical to the first, this place had only one being. Not a humanoid, he was a spirit. Long ago banished to the void, Senthin had learned a great deal of its power. Now it was his realm, what it heard, he heard, what it saw, he saw. And when any other being entered his domain, he knew.)
Senthin: So, the dwarf seeks to halt my plans. Yes, I knew he would. He should never have had possession of the spring. Well, there's nothing to do now. Minions, show yourselves.
(The moment the dark spirit uttered those words, the void itself began to form into beings. Any form he knew, it could make. However, only those who would see them could form their images.)
Senthin: Excellent, I shall use you, minions, to find their fears... go, find the intruders. They shall never leave the void.
(Scene sets where the heroes have appeared.)
Poeir: You're telling me that I was stuck in the form of a little girl all this time?
Dark Chrono: Yes.
Poeir: I'll kill whoever did that...
Palin: Unlikely. The reason you were selected was simple enough. You cannot be touched from his power after your rebirths. Therefor, you are the only ones who can stand a chance against him.
Namrok: Who? I doubt this guy could be more evil than I could!
Palin: No, not evil. He is, however, dangerous. Senthin was long ago killed, as a human... perhaps, I yet do not know. However, his spirit was too strong to depart. It was deemed that he could not remain on earth however and so the gods banished him to the void. This did not stop him.
Dark Chrono: You're telling me we're going up against someone who's lived since... when?
Palin: Shortly after the beginning of time itself, if I'm not mistaken.
Dark Chrono: So he's immortal?
Palin: No, I said he had died. The one problem was that those who had power were the ones who could be the most easily killed for him. At first, I had no idea why he did not kill me when he did. I had no idea why he tried to unite me with my other half. Then I found out. I had died all those years ago, I was simply resurrected into two separate forms. When those were reunited, I would be vulnerable again.
Poeir: But... how?
Palin: I do not yet know... but it seems he has gained the ability to enslave souls of those who are of or around operation CWAL.
Namrok: So basically, he feeds on souls.
Palin: Not quite... you see, he does not feed, he conquers. And since our souls have been returned before they were tainted, we are all... guarded from this ability of his. However, he has other ways of killing us...
Poeir: Then why did you bring us here?
Palin: Because, I found a way to do it. He had guarded his stronghold too much for me to get in before... before I acquired the master spring. I realized that he needed the spring to escape. Its power was the equivilant of hundreds of souls, all of which focused within him. But he was stopped. I figured, if the spring could get him out, it could get me in.
Dark Chrono: But if you have this spring, why not use it to vanquish him? Why do you need our help?
(Palin removed the spring from a pouch he had.)
Palin: It's broken.
(Scene sets upon the heroes of the void.)
Dark Chrono: Broken? How?
Palin: You can thank one of your newbies for that... I believe a Xel'Naga who threw the spring in a volcano.
Namrok: So you mean we're stuck in here?
Palin: No. The void can be left easily by all but Senthin. The problem is, when we leave, so can he.
Poeir: Well then let's leave! We can fight him with the rest of CWAL...
Palin: You don't understand! He would destroy the rest of CWAL. He would gain their power, he would gain them. We are the only ones who can defeat him. That is why we are here.
Dark Chrono: But why? Why walk into his domain just to attack him if he poses no threat to us?
Palin: Those who have died... those whose power he possesses, they are trapped here. They are enslaved. That is why we are here. There are two options, come with me and free your fallen comrades, or leave, allow him to enslave the earth and become the last beings on the planet. I don't think it's a hard choice.
Dark Chrono: How can we trust you?
Palin: How can you not?
Namrok: Well, I'm with you. This guy sounds pretty evil...
Poeir: Yes, we must destroy him for...
Namrok: He very well COULD become more evil than me! It's better if we kill him now!
Poeir: *Ahem* As I was saying, we must destroy him and free the deceased CWALers.
Palin: And you?
Dark Chrono: I don't know...
(Just as Dark Chrono spoke, the void began to coalesce into the forms of various beings... some humanoid, some other.)
Palin(while drawing his axe): Void spirits! Prepare to defend yourselves!
(Just as Palin warned, the others had reacted on instincts. Poeir had prepared a spell, as had Namrok, while Dark Chrono had drawn his energy blades.)
Dark Chrono: That looks like... Alter!
Palin: Don't be fooled, they're shadows of Senthin. They are not those you once knew.
(As Palin spoke, Dark Chrono stood still. He did not retract his energy blades, but rather stopped and stared at the CWALers who had died. The forms of AnRKsT, Haplo, Icegoat, Jester and more appeared. Palin slashed with his axe, taking down the first specter. Namrok cast a spell named Evil Petting Zoo, which summoned a horde of disgruntled farm animals to his assistance. Poeir simply started zapping the creatures into oblivion. As more died, Dark Chrono stood transfixed by the image of Alter. As the void's shadow crept nearer the protoss, he rose his energy blades as if to attack.)
Alter: Join us.
Dark Chrono: I...
(Dark Chrono lowered his blades. He screamed as the specter ripped apart his flesh. Even before he fell to the misty ground, his body was enveloped by the darkness. Within moments, the shadowed protoss reemerged from the void, a shadow of the dark spirit Senthin.)
Dark Chrono: Join us.
(Just as it emerged from the darkness, the slave was chopped down by Palin's axe. The rest soon fell back. The heroes had survived, minus one.)
Namrok: Now what?
Palin: Now we begin.
[Scene: The Void.]
Palin: We must continue.
(The companions continue.)
Namrok: Wow, isn't it handy that all of the rest of Senthin's minions seem to be not attacking us to save the time of several scenes so the author can say not much happened and just have one large battle instead of several smaller ones.
(Poeir and Palin stare at Namrok blankly.)
Namrok: Uhh... no bad guys.
Poeir and Palin: Ohh!
(Not much happened until the companions saw that not much happened so they kept going. Sooner or later, they got to Senthin and his minions.)
(Palin slices down Alter and Mr. Phule while Poeir begins to cast spells, bombarding Kebs and Icegoat with a blizzard. Namrok summons a baseball bat and starts beating Tempus and Veldon.)
Namrok: Taste the fury of the necromantic bat of beating-down! HAHAHA!
(As the three warriors, completely outnumbered and outclassed, finish the fight without a scratch, Senthin appears.)
(Acting quickly, the ancient spirit reached out to Namrok for life, but found none on which to feed. Trying again with Poeir, he was once more disappointed.)
Senthin: NO! Need... more... power!
(Senthin sends Tim Allen to attack the trio, who focus their attacks on him until Palin raises his axe for the final blow.)
Palin: Ah Ah Ah this!
(Slicing the spirit in half, Palin keeps walking towards Senthin.)
Senthin: To hell with this, minions, KILL SOME CHARACTERS!
(As a portal opens, a few spirits of the void float to earth.)
[At COTS HQ.]
Dark Nexus: Ladeeda...
Dark Nexus: Wha?
[At CWAL HQ.]
[At CARV HQ.]
Pinky the Elephant: PUUUUU-PUUUUU!
[Back in the void.]
(The forms of Dark Nexus, Akira and Pu-Pu appear.)
Palin: You guys keep them busy, I'll take Sentin!
(As the fight between the two magi and the dead heroes traverses, Palin keeps on his trek to Senthin.)
Senthin: So, little dwarf, you think you can beat me?
(Palin takes out the master spring.)
Senthin: Oh, your little toy seems to be broken! HAHAHA! Damn, I'm evil!
Palin: Norain trenthart, kellop henyr...
Senthin: Oh, SHI-
(Before Senthin finishes his cuss, Palin sends a rather large explosion his way.)
Palin: Echtar, nirron, telthinax trobin. Faiwenarf tolenthraias keinlorrir. Portenthros ilnetharn, pellnitharle okenas!
(As Palin finishes the incantation, Senthin not moving an inch, he places the master spring on the haft of his axe. The metals of the axe glow a red light, that soon fades.)
Palin: Let's see how you like techron-charged mithril!
(As Palin charges towards Senthin, Namrok battles Dark Nexus.)
DN Spirit: DIEEEEEE!
Namrok: Too late! Korrrrrrrrrrrrppppppp-ping!
(Namrok's bat flies towards DN at blinding speed, but the COTSer ducks and begins speaking himself.)
DN Spirit: Kelllllllkkkkkkk-pong!
Namrok: OH GOD NO!
(The bat boomerangs, hitting Namrok directly in the face. As the bat breaks his nose, pushing it into his brain, Namrok falls to the ground. Dark Nexus, without remorse, steps over the body and walks towards Poeir.)
Poeir: Grrr, super-lamb of smackability, aide me!
(Poeir picks a lamb out of thin air and starts slapping Akira with it. She simply looks at him and laughs.)
Poeir: What's so funny?
(Just as Poeir turns to see why the spirit is cackling, Pu-Pu crushes his head with both hands. He slumps to the ground. Just as the three turn to their last victim, a shockwave eminates from two powerful forces, killing the minions.)
[Scene: Palin and Senthin.]
Senthin: That... hurt!
(Senthin lunges at Palin, who slaps the spirit with his axe. Senthin, needing a weapon himself, forms a vicious looking pike from the void.)
Senthin: Prepare to meet your maker!
Palin: Been there, done that.
(The two clash, eminating a shockwave that could rival any earthquake. Palin recovers quickly, slashing at Senthin's legs. The spirit, acting within a split-second, jumps over the axe and lashes down with his pike. Palin, seeing this, rolls beneath the spirit, but is kicked on the way.)
Senthin: You are indeed a worthy foe.
Palin: Shutup and fight!
Senthin: Them's fightin' words!
Palin: ... We're already fighting!
Senthin: Well... shutup!
(Senthin, with cat-like reflexes, hurled his pike at Palin. Parrying with his axe, Palin failed to see the form of dark Dark Chrono menacing behind him.)
Dark Chrono: Crush! Kill! Destroy!
(As he neared Palin, his leg fell off and he stood on the spot for a moment before his other did the same.)
Palin: To hell with this! Time to break some rules!
Senthin: You don't mean-
Palin: Noraine tellthinrarx orionglorp forpleshnirple- clink clink clink!
(As Palin spoke the words, the void itself began to quiver. Senthin's form wavered as he fell to the ground.)
Senthin: What... what did you do?
Palin: Standerdized time travel, reversing your hold on all of them. The only ones who will remember this will be you and I.
Senthin: Don't you mean "You and me"?
Palin: Uhh... shutup! You go squish now!
Senthin: Eep! Hey... I'm an all-powerful spirit!
Palin: Yeah well, made ya look!
(Palin darted off, Senthin close in pursuit. As Palin ran, he whispered one last incantation.)
Senthin: I... AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
[Scene: The Zerg Canadian Caverns.]
Palin: Whew, I'm glad that's over... but I can't help wonder, what happened to Senthin after I collapsed the void and set back time, freed all the souls and turned everything back to the way it was before all this adventure started.
Cydric: Pali's talkin' to himself again.
Ravil: Cydric, what did I say about doing a red-neck impression?
Cydric: ...Do a good one?
Ravil: Yes! Now go to your room and practice!
Cydric: Yes, sire.
(Cydric skuttles off.)
Palin: Oh well, I'm sure Senthin conveniently got killed after I freed the souls from his grasp and took the only power he had away... still...
[Scene: somewhere in America.]
(A portal opens, a figure falls out.)
Senthin: Where... where am I? Rather, who am I?
(Someone walks by.)